traversing twenties: with Christina Vega
If could reach back through time and have a heart-to-heart with your twentysomething self, what would you say to her?
She’s in her twenties, that glorified period of life when she’s supposed to be discovering herself, deep in exploration, living her most defining decade. And yet.....she may feel like the exact opposite. Or exactly that. Or somewhere in between. She probably doesn't even know.
Maybe you pour her a cup of tea, look into her eyes, wrap her in a hug.
What do you tell her?
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Today's letter comes from my dear friend, Christina Vega. Christina and I have never actually met in person before, just connecting first online and later over countless text messages, Skype conversations, and phone calls. But we've spent the past year and a half of our lives pouring our hearts out to each other, seeing just exactly how and why the Universe brought us together -- and realizing that miles and states between us means nothing to friendship. I've been waiting eagerly for her letter, and I think you'll fall in love just as much as I have. Thank you, Christina:
Dear 26 year-old self,
Sweet love, you’re trying so hard. You’re doing everything you can to make sure you do life the way you think it should be done. Your standards are high. You are driven. You do a lot of planning. And more planning. And then, even more planning. And that’s okay. Even though you’re exhausted, anxious, and scared to death of making a mistake – of making the “wrong choice”, it’s okay.
I have a secret to tell you though - there are no wrong choices. As long as you are following your heart and acting with love, there is nothing you can do and no choice you can make that will end up being wrong. Be true to yourself and you will see.
At the moment, you’re trying to fit into a box that is the wrong size and shape for you. You’re trying to be the idea of success that conventional society says you need to be.
That’s not for you though. Not at all. That’s why this time in your life seems so difficult and uncertain.
You’re a free spirit, and you need to do things your own way. You’re scared of that right now, of stepping into your true self, because you sense that it makes others uncomfortable. And you’re right. It sometimes does. Because, love, when you are living your truth you tend to shake things up and make people think and feel things that they don’t always want to think or feel. I know you think of it as a bad thing right now, something to be ashamed of, but I assure you that one day you will embrace it as one of your superpowers.
And know too, that the ones who are uncomfortable with your free spirited ways are just not your people. The ones who celebrate your light, and whose light you celebrate, those are your people – and you WILL find them. You are bright. You are powerful. You are strong. You just don’t believe that yet. But one day you will. And you will choose to not even try to fit into that misshaped box anymore. And you’ll know the freedom that comes along with that.
But first, you’ll have to go through a really stormy time. And I mean REALLY stormy. I’m not going to give you any details and ruin the adventure, but I will tell you that there is an extremely challenging time that you’ll encounter down the road a bit. The entire course of your life will change overnight, and you will be terrified. And I’m only telling you this so that you can remember to use this wisdom and love to pull you through the experience. You will want to quit, many times. Don’t quit. Don’t give up on yourself. Ever.
You will need this experience to happen so that you can release everything that holds you back from stepping into your truth. You’ll make it through just fine though. You have a resilient spirit, and there is no need to worry. Nothing will make sense at first, and you will be full of resistance and fear. But I want you to know that you will be like a Phoenix rising from the ashes of this mess. This will be your opportunity to re-evaluate who you really are, and what you really stand for. It will also be your opportunity to learn forgiveness, and to finally understand and make friends with your biggest fears.
And when that happens, you will finally embrace your wild, untamed, passionate self and get reacquainted with the side of you that loves to experience the fullness of life. You will remember the part of you that loves to laugh, dance, play, and be really silly. You will love that carefree girl again, and you will let her out of the cave she is hiding in now.
You will sparkle and shine and glow, without apology.
You will learn how to open your heart, surrender, and let the universe support you in all that you do.
You will learn how to love yourself, first and foremost, and to understand that you cannot truly have a fulfilling romantic relationship until you love yourself unconditionally. (This is really, really important so let’s be sure that the seed gets planted right now, okay?)
So in order to get to all that amazing, juicy stuff, you’ll need to know how to weather the storms that are approaching…Here’s what I want you to remember:
Keep doing yoga. Keep writing. Keep making art. Keep taking photos. Those four things will heal you, and will become your foundation for living.
Also, open up to the possibility of Spirit playing a larger role in your life. You know how you’ve always escaped into nature when things get scary? Keep doing that too. You’ll see that within the trees, plants, and animals there is deep comfort available to you, and it is through your time outdoors that you will come to truly understand the interconnections of the universe. And this understanding is like a secret key that will unlock the doors to where you’re headed.
Never ask “Why this?”, or “Why me?” Instead, say “Thank you”, and trust that the river knows where it’s taking you.
Lastly, and most importantly, always follow your intuition. Base your decisions on your feelings, not on the “shoulds” that are running through your head. Those “shoulds” will confuse the fuck out of you if you let them. So don’t let them.
This is your life. And one day you will understand what that means. In the meantime, HAVE FUN. Truly. Have fun now, and have fun when shit hits the fan in a few years. Don’t stop playing just because you get
scared.
You got this, babe. You totally got this. Your soul is always safe, you are never alone, and you are so loved.
Sending “big squeezies” through time and space….I love you so much. Never ever forget that.
-Your 35 year-old self
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Christina Vega believes in dreaming big, keeping it real, and never settling for less than your most amazing life. She is a single mama devoted to creating a soulful, peaceful, joyful, and loving life for her little tribe of three. Her choices in parenting and lifestyle are inspired by yoga, creativity, and playful imagination, with a strong connection to nature and Spirit.
Find more of her at www.christina-vega.com
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Read past posts in the series here.
Interested in writing for Traversing Twenties? Submissions are open! Email ruth@ruthpclark.com for more details.
